can you FEEL IT?

SHE SO FLYYY-4:22 AM

29oct..

as stupid as it sounds.. i believe there s still faith n hope.. :)

was walkin down the memory lane earlier.. sigh.. dammit..

went thru my 'stash' oni to found all the letters.. hahas gosh.. *mellow*

was lookin for tat one particular tape.. dammit.. to no avail!!!

n i found one gorgeous bookmark frm her! :) yay!

sigh.. hate tis feeling.. wish i can jus wake up tmr n nt to think bout tis...

its hard.. but ill try.. sigh..

SHE SO FLYYY-1:56 PM

7th oct... 2009..

still feelin emo stince last nite.. sigh.. tis is killin me'...

i guess at the end of the day, im jus a loner loser.. alone.. all alone.. while on the front, everyone tot i was happy, havin fun n happy wit my life..

sigh.. tis hurts n wastin my blardy time... :(

-1:32 AM

6 october 2009

i guess tis place is soon gonna be an emo place for me to pour out the heart aches..

sigh..

so it was a fun day wit the rest "tp track jalan raya outing.."

many pics were taken.. fit was there "my X-X" hehe :P

oni a small grp turned up.. ard 10 plus.. much lesser then last yr and it was much fun too last yr..

guess we relle miss eugene n iskandar.. hahas idiots..

so i was on my way back frm jb.. then i begin to play my ever-fav siti nurhaliza emo songs..

n sigh.. the words on the lyrics make me emo BIG TIME..

i began to think back on the decisions i made all these while..

i mean, 'special frens' been askin why am i still single n why i dont wish to settle down n stuff.. so i began to think again why? n wats the REAL reason behind it...

i guess, come to think of it, i relle relle dont know wat is love animore.. ok as drama n emo as it is, as i was listenin to the words of the music..

afterall, im still somehow thinkin of that special one who taught me wat is love in the very begginingg.. she s jus too special i guess.. till even today im still thinkin of her..

n there were times where i even dreamt of her, n we got together, i was sooo EXCITEd n happy like i jus won a 100m race in a national event!

i was TAT HAPPY! yes!! sigh..
but yes, it was jus A DREAM! :(

so yes, back to their qn, now tat im so comfy wit the company tat i haf ard, the way i treat gurls, n the way i treat them nicely n talk to them nicely, callin them 'baby' n stuff..

it guess sweet words nowadays haf no 'value' to me.. it seems so common.. then i cant differentiate wats love n wats for the special one... sigh..

i totally lost tat feeelin n i guess i need someone to teach me all over again???

well i wish to be taught by the one who taught me in the very begginin on how to be loved n how to love someone.. n tat peson is there.. alive.. single.. happy wit her life.. n perhaps haf moved on n neva crossed her mind tat i m still waiting for her?

sigh... guess im hopin for a fairytale ending uh... sigh..

like i always tell her.. "jus go wit the flow k sayang"

i jus cant help it now.. tears jus flow as i recall all our sweet moments in the past..

i was talkin to van on why i still like her.. "guess im too comfy wit her..n i like jus the way she is.. cos i feeel tat im very comfortable wit her..tellin my secrets n all.. love her company.. relle..."

well tats wat i told her.. guess im sick of findin one now..

hahas n i was tellin van tat if i relle get her, ill stop all my shit n nonsence n jus settle down once n for all..

im not sure why, but somehow, im jus so blardy confident tat SHE IS THE ONE for me.. k creeeppy n freaky.. but yes, she s givin me tat kind of feelin.. sigh.. n its sad tat one one hand is clappin on tat note.. sigh.. :(

i wish her all the best.. n hope to hang out wit her sooN! cos the time spent wit her, relle makes me go silly n my most outmost fickled moments are exposed when im wit her.. sigh.. i ll always haf a soft spot for her~!

good nitez sayang.. sigh.. hahahs crap.

SHE SO FLYYY-11:43 PM

sometime in august...

i jus cant hold it animore... sigh feelin slightly emo rite now..

aniways, heard of tat song: here we go again by demi lovato?? im as emo as janice now.. sigh..

well i jus love the lyrics.. im soooooo feellin the lyrics now..

how the hell she got into my skin.. sweared neva let her in.. but.. sigh.. tot ive threw her out of my head.. told everyone tat im pretty much fine w/t u.. but it was a pretty damn lie...

everytime u come ard, i jus feel like breakin down..

someting bout her is so addictive.. tho despite knowin tat its jus simply impossible..

deep inside i jus relle wish tat we could be together..

threw ur stuff away thinking i can get rid u for good.. guess im fallin for u... here we go again..

u neva know wat u want, u neva said wat u mean.. i start to go insane everytime u look at me..

u always show up too late.. even in my dreams.. ive been gettin dreams tat ill get so excited n happy tat u finally accepted me.. sigh..

i jus dunno wat to do.. someting bout u is so addicitive.. i jus throw u aside.. maybe i shouldnt meet u at all..

everytime i dont meet u, i feel like i can forget bout u n i know im strong enuff to carry on life w/t u n move on wit other girls...

but everytime i meet u, i always haf a strong feelin tat i relle wanna stop all my shit n jus settle down with u.. n why is the heart so darn sure tat u re the one for me..

where s the yasin tat i know tat is scared of commitments n will only settle down only after 30? sigh..

it all crumbles when i lay my eyes on you...

sigh... tell me wat should i do bout it? not meet u n give u the cold treatment all over again jus so i can forget bout u for good? n not even talk to u ever?

sigh... i need serious help.. its creepin under my skin BIG TIME..